#dealing with sickness rn
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
frothing over villain arc jimmy rn. oh no please dont get super angry and breed me over your office table while calling me all names in the book
You are so right ‘nonnie, so so right
#sorry this took forever to answer#dealing with sickness rn#also forgot I drew this for this ask and was mean to answer earlier ;-;#anon ask#my art#jmmysldrty
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
extremely self indulgent btr doodles <3
once again drawing the band members mostly from memory;;
#partially bc the animation is open in the background my laptop heats up really fucking fast so that's my excuse for not finishing this up#i also blame my ailing health <3#i think everyone should give me 5 bucks so i can pay for my doctor visits /j#i might have a slightly more favorite pairing as of rn and u can totally tell by how i've drawn each one sdfjhjskd#but i guess this is my contribution to polycule kessoku band /hj#when is it my turn /j#kk rambles#my art#bocchiposting#bocchi the rock!#bocchi fanart#btr!#btr fanart#bocchi the rock fanart#kita ikuyo#yamada ryo#hitori gotou#nijika ijichi#yayyy girls kissing#this was partially an escapism from thinking of a response to a message but now it's like bedtime so yayyy crisis avoided successfully!!! /#but yeah i'll deal with that tmr bc i feel really really sick <3
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
BANG CHAN — Special MC KCON LA DAY 3 (230821)
#chan#bang chan#stray kids#skz#createskz#cb97net#bystay#*gifs#*m#flashing tw#this set had 15 gifs originally but i just cannot deal with the colouring rn ...#i dont even hate it or smth its just??? diff across all of them and its making me MAD#but god i had to I HAD TO GIF HIM :((((#look at our super star... look at our sweet boy...#my shining star fr...#god im so proud of him :((((((#im going to be sick i adore him so much im so sa d#last gif i wanna eat him alive also but thats another thought huahwoefawoeia#also this post is brought to you by 'your scratch disks are full' and fuck photoshop
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Yk I never did truly recover from the sick fic chapter
#one day im gonna make a post overanalyzing every single frame from this chapter bc its just so good#everything from how confused sakura looks at the idea of them coming to visit him when hes sick#to suo suggesting they leave bc he knows them staying here the now will only make him worse/uncomfortable which is the last thing he needs#bc yeah although he shouldn't and doesnt have to hes used to dealing w/ things like this alone#hes convinced he needs to and thats not smth you can just expect to change from one visit#still i need my hurt/comfort sick fic sequel please and thank you#so we can get a full circle of sakuras character development where he actually lets them help/asks for it#and NO im NOT projecting 🙅♀️#i DONT just wanna see my son getting comforted through his sickness when hes at his most vulnerable nuh uh 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️#wind breaker#wind breaker spoilers#sakura haruka#ALSO ALL THIS ^^ WITHOUT EVEN MENTIONING THE REASON HES SICK IN THE FIRST PLACE LIKE????#MY SON WAS SO EMOTIONALY CONFLICTED AND CONFUSED THAT HE GAVE HIMSELF A FEVER 😭😭😭😭#ALSO also i seriously cannot get iver how scared he looks in the last panel like ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#ok im going off in these tags rn i need to stop fr
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
I tried to be good, am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good?
untitled, Geloy Concepcion // Seventeen Going Under, Sam Fender // untitled, traumatizeddfox // Two People, Sam Fender // The War of Vaslav Nijinsky, Frank Bidart // Hard Times, Ethel Cain // Child Wearing a Red Scarf, Eduoard Vuillard // Complex, Katie Gregson Macleod // Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers, malaak // Too Much Wine, The Handsome Family // untitled, milklump // untitled, dying-weeds // Strangers, Ethel Cain
#sorry to all my f1 people#i'm really going through something rn and had to do something to get it out#been a very tough few days a lot of things being brought back up that i really cant deal with#everything in me feels sick#delete l8r#cw family issues#cw trauma#cw abuse#ethel cain#tw abuse#sam fender#traumacore#trauma#childhood trauma#family issues#dad issues#narcissist parents#web weaving#web weave
595 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of the most annoying things about fandom is the way people misunderstand ptsd and downplay the way it affects people and the characters they write. a lot of people misunderstand what it's like to live with ptsd but it's especially annoying when a character has ptsd and people immediately denounce it as unrealistic or childish. like wow ptsd is uncomfortable to witness and go through???? who could have predicted that trauma may have some effects that you are unable to romanticize. who would have thought! the amount of times i have seen characters be dismissed as evil or childish or even as a crybaby whatever thats supposed to mean because they have a realistic reaction to death is. bizarre!!!
#sorry to complain i am just sooo sick of people saying stupid things#ive been dealing with diagnosed chronic ptsd for years just to see people denounce people reacting to triggers as childish#imagine i am throwing rocks and then i lay down and take a nap this is how i feel rn#riel
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bleh, feel like shit physically rn, probably will take awhile before I start working on the AMV and or just drawing again, take a messy doodle for now
#Idk maybe I’m getting sick or soemthign#doodle#doodles#myart#sooo sorry I’m not responding to DMs and or fanart rn I’ll get to them eventually it takes a lot for me to talk when I’m not feeling great#Literally forced myself to answer asks this morning LMFAO#don’t really know why they aren’t that big of a deal ☠️
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finally managed to finish another 50s LauraMax drawing, yay!
This came about because 1) I'm always in the mood for some 50s LauraMax and had been itching to draw some more of them and 2) I saw this cute couple from Arthur Sarnoff's painting "The Church Picnic" and they just screamed Laura + Max, I mean look at them:
So here we are :)
#lauramax#the quarry#laura kearney#max brinly#I'd been so close to finishing this last week - and then I got sick -.-#finally have enough energy to draw a little again :)#I really should try and practice actually painting digitally - but it's so hard#so you'll just have to deal with my weird inbetween-style instead#where i use more texture-y brushes but still cling to my pencil outlines because going without is too intimidating for me rn#my sketches and drawings
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
:c
#im bored of bein sick i wna b able to do things again#its only been 4 days so mayb thts bit dramatic#but ive been proper thrown out of all my routines tht i finally got back on track n i feel like complete shit for it#like my brains gone all messy bc its out of regular routines n i cant deal#n even tiny days at work r hard rn#like i did 5hrs in back on my own barely doin anythin n almost passed out 3 times🧍🏻#why cant i just breathe bro#and today i'm so fucking nauseous i cant eat anything ive just been drinkin lemon tea all day so my teeth r gna hate me#manifesting i wake up tmr all better like nothin evr happened#n i get to go back to gym and tidy my house n get back to normal#pls ty
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
im doing something different for commissions this coming time
#i have to cleanup/line/color/ the last of the work I have to do#and then im gonna take a break for a week or two#for the next batch it’s gonna be different I’ve decided#im probably going to make them ko-fi 6 or 8 slots first come first serve#im gonna raise my prices too. im sorry if this an inconvenience#im not going to get too personal but there like rough changes happening in my life and i feel very physically sick rn#i feel very ill and im feeling so intensely ever since being off my meds. I don’t want to make it anyone’s problem#im SO greatful to the people who want art from me. and im so greatful for the commissions i get.#I think I worked myself to the point of misery . im feeing the physical effects of it#im just physically exhausted and I don’t want to burn myself out#I can barely respond to people and I don’t want to have others deal with it#I have no other ways of getting money so I physically depend on these#I don’t want to feel like im only good for making art . i don’t want to make it seem like im lazy when im working everyday#hopefully I finish the rest of my work in the coming week. I appreciate everyone whose supported me and my art#and im sorry for being a bit of a downer. I’ll get back to regular posting 🧡#txt
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
good news: i am feeling way better overall, the antibiotics are doing their job & i am way thankful for it. i've also got some appointments to keep up on the og issue & dealing with this has put me on the fast track to getting / keeping insurance!
bad news: i do think i got sick from sitting next to a little girl in the er & that is kicking my ass so everything in my life is way behind right now. i want to write, but i have to clean house before i clean drafts lmao
#ooc.#tbd.#personal.#i did have a post tht i ended up deleting abt what is actually going on#but it is personal / gross so i didnt want to talk abt it on the dash#im hoping however to maybe tend to some messages tonight#but im making soup & i've been sleeping like a ton which has put me on the right track to feeling better#i am however frustrated w the amount of sleep i need from a mix of being sick & recovering from the original issue#+ i am extremely frustrated because a lot of groceries went bad because i was not well enough to cook w them#++ i am even MORE frustrated because the whole apartment has kind of fallen apart bcs my partner is not helping w chores#which is like okay because he works & i dont rn i am just starting to feel insane bcs the dishes stink & the fridge stinks & litter stinks#plus i also when working go in & out of phases of doing chores it just is a lot to handle to have such a nasty space & be helpless abt it#i am hoping to get enough energy in me to deal w it today tbh
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am gonna try and just like.. take it easy for a bit. im very sick and feeling very sensitive, and getting anon hate or dumb tiktok comment criticisms should not be affecting me like it does. gonna watch the hobbit movies
#this and an old mutual who is apparently in the idf telling me#my saying from the river to the sea is calling for the death of jews#needless to say we are no longer mutuals and i just responded w a yousef munayyer article#bc id rather cite someone accredited than try and get my point accross#ANYWAYS. AND IM SICK#GAH#positive messages about your day or thoughts or the stories you’re working on are appreciated#tell me about YOU on anon#dont talk to me about my stuff rn bc i just cant deal
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
experiencing any level of joint pain for longer than a day or two has only reinforced my belief that ppl with chronic pain are actually the strongest motherfuckers on the goddamn planet
#marzi speaks#hi. my knees r still kinda fucked up. at some point a few days ago i hyperextended my elbows#so now those have been hurting#my traps r fucked bc i’ve been stressed and those are prone to holding tension in me#my knee pain made me walk wrong for a little bit so now i’m trying to fix that to alleviate the foot and ankle pain#oh yeah. my thumb is still tender for some reason despite the tendonitis having been healed as well#the only part of my body that hasn’t betrayed me as of yet is my spine and pelvis#i am so sick of moving and having it hurt#and like i can go about my day n shit. and have a good time#but it is always there and it is fucking annoyingggg#and ppl with chronic pain just live their whole lives like this.#and they don’t blow up and attack anyone who treats them shitty about it#and i am amazed#bc i talked to my dad abt maybe going to the doctor abt my knees to see what’s going on#bc i don’t remember injuring them at all and i don’t really feel too much improvement on a day to day#and he just gave me a stretch to do about it#now the stretch helps. but my knees still hurt. so like. what do u want from me#if i were to bring it up again he’d probably say it wasn’t a big deal. he’s seen me hobble around the house n how slow i’m moving rn#i normally run around my house. i have been walking at a pace that pisses me off bc i’m impatient#even just having like. worries that are probably exagerrated get dismissed like that has kinda made me wanna kill him a little bit#and this is something that i know is gonna heal and get better#ppl with chronic pain don’t Get That. and they are still dismissed constantly#how do you not like. murder everyone around you. the infinite patience. genuinely the strongest among us#i didn’t mean to complain in these tags as much as i did (my knees r actually doing pretty ok rn and my ankles are getting better)#but i suppose i am bitter
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
May I ask about your Jason Todd idea? <3
Hm, okay so. How to lay this out sensitively since I know it might be a tad controversial...
Prefacing by saying I'm not an expert on the minutias of Jason characterization. I like him when he appears, I think the battle for the cowl/Morrison era and some parts of modern era for him are Weird and Bad, but I'm not Jason scholar (for that I'd say maybe check out @/tumblingxelian and their great video essays), I'm just trying to think of what might be an interesting step forward for him.
First, the canon facts
Jason got lobotomized and has panic disorder on steroids. By the end of Gotham War (specifically when Jason was. Flying the batplane into the asteroid. God I can't believe that's the plot) he was finding it in himself to power through said panics
In Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #12, the joker gives Jason a "low dose" of joker venom, which has an ambiguous effect on Jason, allowing him to power through the fear (which joker explicitly states is still very much present, just not physically debilitating, like when Jason couldn't run over in either Catwoman #57 or #58, the one with the kid in the building) even though he'd been able to do that sans venom over in Gotham War, like I previously stated.
The effect of said joker venom seems to be lingering for now, minus the creepy grin side effect it gave Jason over in that man who stopped laughing issue, as seen in the latest batman issue (number is escaping me rn, #147??). He still has the stutter which is a shorthand for fear, he's drawn with fearful expressions by Jorge Jimenez, but he says that he's "working through it" thanks to the chemicals
This is both super interesting and kind of maddening as it doesn't completely remove the consequences of what happened in Gotham War, but is trying to sweep them under the rug and get back to business as usual. I, however, propose making said consequences front and center like a fashionable urn on a mantle piece:
Since it's never stated how exactly the joker venom works, and I think the current answer is "it works how the story needs it to" I've decided that because it's a low dose, it eventually wears off. And when it wears off, Jason's back to square one in terms of mental state. Ergo, if Jason doesn't want to live the rest of his life as quaking shivering husk of his former self...he's going to need more.
(read more for the meat of things)
So, Jason self medicates for a condition given to him by the father he has endlessly complicated feelings towards with a cure invented by a man who represents everything he hates in the world who once tried to take everything from him.
Which, insert poetic cinema gif here, I'm quite proud of myself for that one.
Anyway, there's a lot of directions you could take this. Personally I think it'd be interesting to explore Jason trying to get back into the drug trade like he did in UTRH (FULL TRANSPARENCY I HAVEN'T READ THE FULL COMIC, I KNOW BROADSTROKES BUT IM NOT GONNA TRY AND MAKE PARALLELS) as he tries to use the resources (production plants and other drug runners who can hook him up with samples of joker toxin/similar stuff you can probably find around Gotham) to manufacture his own cure that means never having to go back to the joker again. Maybe he ambushes a joker toxin chemical production plant to get his own supply, and then Jason uses this as his foothold back into that world.
This isn't necessarily me saying we should regress Jason alll the way back to UTRH, that was before his anti-hero era and I'm not willing to fully shoot him back into the past. I just think that's not how you tell good stories in a medium like comics. But it'd inherently be a little different just bc he's doing it for different, slightly more self motivated (depending on your take on villain Jason) reasons and the people around him would have a different reaction to it.
Anyway, all sorts of problems can arise! Depending on how you wanna characterize Jason (wayward son who longs to be back in the fold or black sheep who doesn't play by daddy's rules, etc) he can either a) try and hide this criminal enterprise from his giant family full of nosy detectives (good idea there jay) OR do it out in the open, trying to justify himself but still putting himself on the opposite side of the family again (not the law bc that boy hasn't been on the 'right' side of it since he died)
There's also the fact that Jason now needs to take something 24/7 in order to live his life. He essentially can't be without it, he's dependent on it, in fact he'd get sick without it despite any adverse effects it may have on him (which are guaranteed, I mean. No clinical trials)
I imagine it'd be easy to become addicted to it in some way.
And uh. This is the part where it works slightly better as a fanfic pitch than an actual comic pitch. Because as much as I think it'd be such an interesting beat for Jason's character considering his fraught history with addiction and drugs (looks away from that one urban legends story where he suggests terrorising addicts to get to the suppliers and bruce lectures him. The easiest way to make Mr "we don't sell drugs to children" sympathetic and you beefed it)
I also fully recognise that this is a sensitive topic that DC doesn't have the best track record with (although addicts aren't a monolith and feel a number of ways about addictions portrayals in comics) and that there's probably some pitfalls inherent in the premise, namely bc of Jason's background as an impoverished kid and his grey morality, and how those play into stereotypes of addicts. Addiction is already such a misunderstood and stigmatized condition that I imagine playing with it with an antihero might be enough to turn some people off. Addiction is not a moral failing and I'd hate to write it as a moral failing of Jason akin to his willingness to kill, etc.
But with all that said, I think that stereotypes are primarily harmful because of their shallowness. They inhibit understanding of groups labeled "other" by presenting them in simplistic ways that don't portray richness or complexity. And I think a truly good red hood comic could give both sympathy and complexity to Jason, even as an addict. If anything, Jason is a popular character (mostly) and there could be something nice about seeing a main character go through what you're going through, gritty details and all. YMMV (can we bring that back btw?) and it depends on execution. There's a lot of ways it could go wrong, but seeing as it just lives as a hypothetical rn, I think there's also a lot of ways it could go. I mean, not right, it's a downer story beat for Jason but it's mostly meant to be interesting and a vehicle for more stories as Jason navigates it, ya know?
Anyway, I have a lot of spiels littered in my notes app and discord DMs that elaborate on all this (how this could work as act 1 in a broader Jason story where his little operation goes to shit and he has to hit the road (jack) and maybe do some character development for better or worse. I'm a sucker and wanna say better- not squeaky clean better but. Yknow, finding himself to an extent. I recognise I'm a sap and a fool tho. Or how a new outlaws team could factor into either of those eras (since I do like Jason with an outlaws team. It gives him an excuse to exercise his compelling relationships and dynamics with other characters without having to constantly tip-toe around the elephant in the room whenever he's with the batfamily all the time. He just needs a good lineup) but that's all for another time
... though without elaborating on the vision in my head it kind of just sounds like my pitch is "Jason gets addicted to his hyper-anxiety medication" BUT I SWEAR ITS MORE THAN THAT.
It's like. If Jason has struggled as a character (and this is very subjective on my part so feel free to disagree) because he has compelling relationships with all of the batfamily, but also has compelling grey morality that makes it hard to capitalize on those relationships, without the conflict always coming to "Jason stop killing!" "Nuh uh!" OR just being ignored, and the main way writers have addressed this is via reboots instead of arcs...
Then giving Jason and the bats:
real, legitimate and fresh reason for jay to be mad at Bruce (taking their relationship of love with very little understanding to it's most dramatic conclusion)
give the family a real reason to want to bring him back into the fold (feel bad about the lobotomy and it would be pretty immoral to let Jason waste away slowly and painfully because of something Bruce did)
capitalize on all the ways Jason is sympathetic (bc the addiction is a natural lead into his backstory, which is one of his most sympathetic elements)
And the ways in which he's very out of step with the bats post-resurrection (I'd be mad asf too if i came back to life just for my dad to a) not avenge me and b) LOBOTOMIZE ME meanwhile the cunt ass clown giving me my meds is just lurking out there).
Idk it's not a sophisticated pitch as of this moment but I think a real chef (writer) could cook something w/ this
#ramblings of a lunatic#do i maintag this#uhh#dc#that's enough i don't need to bother ppl with my brain dump#you made the mistake of asking /j#i hope it's not. too out of left field for what you were expecting? if you were expecting anything#this has just been rattling in my brain since i was venting about gotham war to a friend while sick a while ago#idk jasons a hot topic rn he's seemingly controversial atm but i think he's just some guy#he needs a little direction a little tlc like i said. but I've always found him interesting and i think this is at least an idea-#-for how to deal w/ jason post gotham war#tho who knows. with the new Summer Events on the horizon maybe jason will be rebooted again#and I'll go bald all at once like silver age lex luthor#not from chemicals in a lab accident but from stress at my ideas no longer having relevance#it happens more often than you'd think#the ideas thing. not me going bald. that's only sometimes#uhhh anyway hope this absolute behemoth text isn't too much. sorry i can't physically shut up#also ppl who know more about jason amd would like to say things (CONSTRUCTIVELY) on this post feel free!#(i say constructively because. I'm sensitive. mean comments make me cry)
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I asked my finance to buy me one of those thc seltzers but he came home with something that I had no clue what it was so upon reading it I found in small letters on the back that it was shrooms. I wasn’t even aware that was something you could buy
2 notes
·
View notes