#dealing with sickness rn

[ame-to-ame]

extremely self indulgent btr doodles <3

once again drawing the band members mostly from memory;;

[chrisbangs]

BANG CHAN — Special MC KCON LA DAY 3 (230821)

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

super indulgent genshin oc concept bc i've been thinking too much about capitano and ororon's dynamic in the story lore ramblings and ideas under the cut for anyone interested hahah;;, beware - long-ass post

(obviously spoilers ahead for the natlan AQ)

haven't picked out a name yet but we could probably scara him and call him 'vessel' or smth anyway, i was thinking too much abt how, in a way, ororon's situation sorta- idk if 'mirrors' is the word, but it has some similarities to what was ultimately going on w capitano? the difference was of course that while ororon failed to be a vessel to send lingering souls into the night kingdom, capitano didn't fail. quite famoulsy. so while that's super interesting and all, i couldn't help but think how they could've pushed that idea further? like you have to make this connection yourself. not even ororon, who spends a good chunk of the AQ thinking about what happened back then, made any remark about how similar it was to what ended up happening to capitano (that i recall?). did we ever find out if the ritual they tried w ororon had ever been performed before? i don't remember. it might've been, but it could've also been a hypothetical of sorts that they figured they could just try. anyway, regardless, i started thinking about if they HAD done it before, how interesting it would've been to actually get an account of what went down. as in- in further detail. bc then we could've possibly had a stronger/more evident connection between capitano's ordeal and ororon, and it would've been more clear what ororon sort of- dodged. if that makes any sense. like we know thanks to capitano but still, it's not the exact same scenario. so you can probably see where this is going lmao

this guy (we'll go with 'the vessel') is the result of my brainworms thinking about how it could've worked if we had one of the previous 'sacrifices' of the ritual (or maybe even the only other one) appear in the story. maybe he could've been from around the time citlali was still young (like before she realized she wasn't aging), so before she was renowned and in a position where she would've been able to easily stop the ritual. i think it would be really interesting if she could've like- still protested? y'know? but since she didn't have a high position she felt like it would've been pointless. this would make it all the more compelling the fact that she still didn't outright protest against ororon's ritual, and would've given more weight to her complicated guilt/relief over the whole ordeal. so all the way back then (like 200ish years?) they found a fella with an incomplete soul, trained him to prepare him since the situation wasn't nearly as dire n so there was time (and would make more sense if it was also the first time they were doing this), and then successfully performed the ritual. or at least as successfully as they thought, bc i think it would be all the more appaling if like- ororon's was always meant to be a capitano pre-ronova situation. he would've carried these souls w him and he would've been laid to rest but HE wouldn't have really rested, if that makes sense? not just killing him. maybe that's what it was and i just can't remember. anyway. if it was something like that, then the vessel would've been essentially put to sleep somewhere in a secret cave or whatever, acting as a sort of waiting room for the souls in him to stay w him and not roam the land until they could get into the night kingdom. but since the situation w the night kingdom was worse than anyone had expected, the souls sort of never moved on, and stayed w the vessel, dormant in that cave.

like that, ororon's ritual has failed and we have a more interesting situation going on – citlali's conflict is even more complex, the MotNW are more morally gray, ororon's 'failure' is more weighty given the vessel's ritual did seemingly help out a ton, and capitano has a more interesting parallel w the whole situation. in this scenario of course the natlan AQ has much better pacing etc. it would be more harrowing if we're allowed to stew w the souls disturbed from the night kingdom and sort of haunting the land like they were when we were helping them w citlali n xilonen, i feel like that happened too fast. if the souls were disturbed in that way, then so too would the vessel's rest be disturbed, and i think it would be hilarious if at some point in that little section we get the MotNW in a panic like 'HE IS GONE. HE IS OUT OF THE CAVE' and the traveler is like who???? it would be so funny. so the vessel essentially wakes up, accidentally escapes from his cave, n then starts wandering natlan in a daze bc he's like 200yrs in the future, he's confused, and he has a bunch of souls backseating his existence van hoenheim style. the gang could then meet him n we could have ororon have his little crisis over it n the vessel himself also have conflicting feelings over it etc capitano probably figured out/found out ororon's whole situation w the failed ritual, so when the vessel wakes up, capitano could probably show up and start sort of being oddly inclined to have chats w him. by that point in the story we wouldn't know capitano is in p much his exact same shoes, so this would be a weird sort of 'wtf is he planning' moment. the vesssel wouldn't be able to quite join in on capitano's plan, but since he was trained specifically for this whole ordeal, we could have him and capitano sort of compare notes n theorize how they could both just Fucking Rest. i think the ronova thing would play out the same (wouldn't want to take that away from capitano since that was his wholeass reason for being there), but they would've sort of off-camera (we get shown this afterwards) figured out that if capitano's plan works, then the vessel could sort of use him as a conduit to guide the souls through him and into the night kingdom. sort of like a passage that only he can access. so capitano goes and sits down, and then the vessel sort of sits down by his feet and joins him. then capitnao isn't alone and since i'm nothing if not a simp the first thing i thought when i saw him sitting there was those really heartwrenching fanarts people make of xiao kneeling by the rex lapis statue and resting his head on a thigh/knee, and i can't get the image out of my head, so. vessel -> xiao, capitano -> rex lapis statue, you get it i don't need to explain this any more LMAO i didn't even think of it as ship material (though you bet the fandom would make it so if this was canon. not that i'd protest), but more as a. sort of like- a sudden bastion of understanding and companionship at the end of the road. like yes both of them were alone but also not alone but also really really lonely for a good chunk of their long lives and even though it has now come to the end they both wanted they also managed to find a companion/comrade/someone who Gets It, even if it was just for a little while there at the end.

so yeah

[vaguely-concerned]

I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today

[sukifoof]

one of the most annoying things about fandom is the way people misunderstand ptsd and downplay the way it affects people and the characters they write. a lot of people misunderstand what it's like to live with ptsd but it's especially annoying when a character has ptsd and people immediately denounce it as unrealistic or childish. like wow ptsd is uncomfortable to witness and go through???? who could have predicted that trauma may have some effects that you are unable to romanticize. who would have thought! the amount of times i have seen characters be dismissed as evil or childish or even as a crybaby whatever thats supposed to mean because they have a realistic reaction to death is. bizarre!!!

[lostinlovingrevery]

Lord yall know I try to remain demure and full of love but my professor really be testing my patience rn

I need to be wrapped in logans arms right now. Full bearhug. Face buried in his titties (or his in mine). I need to feel his dick on my belly. And i need a bunch of kisses.

[peteytheparrot]

Bleh, feel like shit physically rn, probably will take awhile before I start working on the AMV and or just drawing again, take a messy doodle for now

[pinetreeparadoxx]

Just I heads up I'm just. Unfollowing people who are putting certain jokes or nihilistic rage bait or guilt trippy shit or discourse on my timeline. I mostly just ignore stuff but unless you're like my bestest friend ever I currently cannot mentally take it.

Real, important political and real world news, especially if there's good resources attached, is obviously welcome even if it's painful but I cannot handle the bullshit. I'm sorry.

[stellichor-system]

Man, you know somebody fucked up when you got two caretakers in front 😭

[theartofdreaming1]

Finally managed to finish another 50s LauraMax drawing, yay!

This came about because 1) I'm always in the mood for some 50s LauraMax and had been itching to draw some more of them and 2) I saw this cute couple from Arthur Sarnoff's painting "The Church Picnic" and they just screamed Laura + Max, I mean look at them:

So here we are :)

[cupiidzbow]

im doing something different for commissions this coming time

[elliscousland]

good news: i am feeling way better overall, the antibiotics are doing their job & i am way thankful for it. i've also got some appointments to keep up on the og issue & dealing with this has put me on the fast track to getting / keeping insurance!

bad news: i do think i got sick from sitting next to a little girl in the er & that is kicking my ass so everything in my life is way behind right now. i want to write, but i have to clean house before i clean drafts lmao

[moncuries]

i am gonna try and just like.. take it easy for a bit. im very sick and feeling very sensitive, and getting anon hate or dumb tiktok comment criticisms should not be affecting me like it does. gonna watch the hobbit movies

[stuckydrewx]

Tagged by @thankssaragorn to post six non-selfie photos, i love this!

Two beautiful sunset/sunrise photos, my captain america teddy that my brother got me last year, my sinus tablets pamphlet thing, a colouring page i was doing to give to my dear granny and my favourite perfume i got from lidl for 5 euro in 2020 that ran out

Tagging (no pressure): @wewringmagicfromtheordinary @wintersxldiers @princesscas @norelationtoatticus

[plasticmutations]

my rent by itself is literally 70% of my income already like i am literally so fucking miserable this is unsustainable if i keep having to do this im going to just kill myself for real lol

[girldogmeat]

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